Baa Hum Bug!

I'm 23, and I don't know what that means to you, but to me that's old and I'm tired. Blame it on my "old soul" or whatever, but I'm tired of every holiday and special event packing up me and my troupe going to visit other people at their homes, basking in their happiness, and their families. I'm tired and I'm ready for people to pack up their crew and visit me and mines.

Now, I have no children (my dog doesn't count because he's not always in tow), so my troupe is not my children, husband, or boyfriend for that matter; it's my "baggage". You know, I carry a bag of expectation, and no-nonsense everywhere I go. These bags are not always heavy, but sometimes they are so loaded that they weigh me down. Now don't confuse this with being unpleasant, I am not. I just don't feel like dealing with the bullshit, in this case particularly with romantic relationships.


I am very unapologetic about the expectations I have of others and at times these expectations may come at a cost to myself, but I am convinced that in the long run it will pan out. I have seen what little expectations (and lack of fulfillment of those) have done to people in the long run and THAT does not make me happy.

So, here I sit in my house alone on Christmas, not because I have nowhere to go but because I don't feel like it! I want to sit in my house and have others come to me. Unfortunately there is no reason for them to and that is the problem...

Equal Parts

Truth be told, every man likes a woman who's a little domesticated and every woman likes a man who's a little handy.

...but that should not (and probably will not) be the totality of their role in the home.

As serious as I am about equity in the home- that we need to be doing things 50/50- some tasks I want no parts of. Honestly there are some things I expect #myfuturehusband to be better at than I and things that I would prefer him to do- PERIOD. It has very little to do with gender roles and socialization, but how we will function well in our household. If I can, will, and am expected to do everything, then what the heck do I need a man* for? You know, ya'll come with a lot of headaches, that at times feel like they outweigh the benefits of having you around (j/k ... but dead serious)

There needs to be a recognition that what we each choose (or need) to do is equally important for the maintenance and functioning of this house. I will not let anyone (take note #futurehusband) guilt me into fulfilling duties, simply because of my gender. Just as well as I can sweep the floor, I'm pretty sure your arms move and legs can do it too (I know your stroke- you can handle it).

If he makes my whites sparkle like they've never been worn, then guess who's washing clothes? If I can put together a table in no time without spending hours looking at the directions, guess who's putting together furniture (or having it delivered already assembled)?

That being said (this post was not supposed to be about equality in the home); I know #myfuturehusband will really appreciate it if I know at least the basics of keeping a home clean and cooking an edible meal. Simply because as a woman I should know? Yes and because that should (will) compliment what he brings to the table, which will be more than the "bread and the bacon" to place on it (he is not getting off that easy). I will appreciate just as much that he knows how to change the oil in my car and replace the cabinets in my kitchen (lofty request? I have high expectations hahaha). Because he's a man? Yes and because it will compliment me.

Steve Harvey said it best (prepare for paraphrase) when he explained that no man should make a woman feel like they are indebted because she stays at home and he pays the bills. She is maintaining and preparing a household that he is living in - that's not a favor, they are both doing their parts. Had the food that was purchased with his money not been cooked by her, I guess he'd be a hungry soul.

So the point (damn, I got back to equity!) is that both parts are equally important and I will appreciate (borderline require) #myfuturehusband 's handiness and he shall appreciate my domesticity.

*man can be swapped for woman, vice versa - sexual preference does not negate this experience

ChillMoodyLaunch

Rebel without a Cause!

I'm thinking of changing the name of my blog to that, but....I don't totally agree...I have a cause, people just aren't always down,they don't always get it and I have too many causes to choose one!

Secondly, me rebelling is a marker on my journey towards adulthood, so it fits right in with my "theme".

This can't be a long post, b/c I've got work to do and I have spent a particularly long time stewing and sharing my thoughts on one particular cause, well processes of a cause: awareness raising!

I particularly HATE that people automatically assume that you totally disagree with them without attempting to LISTEN to what you are saying. At the end of most arguments, I find that had I (or the other party) listened to one another we would see that there are more similarities than differences between us.

That's what we need to raise awareness about: listening as an EFFECTIVE tool for change.


DUH!