Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Please clear my energy...

::inserts disclaimer about the quality of this written work::


I woke with a burdended, discouraged heart.. I have organized a community event that I feel VERY passionately about and I am trying to decipher whether the devil is putting obstacles in our way or if God is giving us signs. Last night I said: I need a sign for the sign Lord!

It's like we have all the parts in order, but no place to claim its home. We met with a group yesterday regarding the location we would like it to be in, but we, well I did not walk away feeling as if

The group leader was patronizing. At times it felt hostile.

I do not want what we have spent lllloooonnnngggg hours toiling over this, for it to call home to a place where people do not see our vision. Maybe I am too idealistic, but I was taught to see the sunshine. It is very frustrating.

The reaction we received last night is EXACTLY why we chose to seek out a location in the hood. We are not afraid to have EVENTS, not parties in the under-served areas. We want to serve, we want to create an opportunity, experiences - we want to show OUR people that we can organize and be present.

The thought of having dozens of police officers milling about makes me ILL. I want to exhibit to people that we believe in their dignity. We believe that they deserve nice things, in places they call home. But we are not stupid. We recognize that things can jump off. I would argue that the presence of a dominating force does not decrease tension, but increases it. I would feel that a strong police presence welcomes hostility from a crowd - especially a group that already has a contentious relationship with law enforcement.

I WILL NOT YOU DAMN MY VISION WITH YOUR PRESENTATION. why is it that I have to always worry about my presentation (which is everything) when others don't. Namely those who are more senior than I?!

Old heads it is you! You are a large part of the problem. Your expectations, the energy you put out in the world begets negativity. We should believe that African Americans can congregate, fellowship, feast and enjoy the musical aspects of our culture without incident. If you have low expectations, if you meet "them" with force, if you do not think they are deserving of a NICE, thoughtful event, then why have it. I do not expect anyone to be foolish, we should be prepared and proactive. But energy is everything.