Organ Donor

If I could be honest, I would tell how damaged I was am.

If I could be honest, I'd tell you that every time I ask to see you, either beating, preventing, or forcing you to...


whatever your response is, I lose (a little confidence, a little faith)

...a little space - a little, just a tad of myself


A tad of control that I have held on to for so long

a bit of my health

If I could be honest, I'd tell you that I am AFRAID, scared, terrified of liking LOVING and hurting someone

I am afraid that by liking, then loving, that I (eye) will meet, re-meet, repeat a broken heart

If I could be honest,

If I could be in control, I'd let go!







Since I'm being honest:

I hate LOATHE despise asking someone to see me! I make a mental note EVERY time I make an inquiry to be seen. I hate not being fit in to some one else's schedule. I hate complicated. I hate compartmentalizing in REAL life, you know with real people and real feelings. I HATE when my feelings fast forward quicker than reality and I don't know whether I should catch up or speed up or stay still and figure out what's it all about.

I HATE feeling like a disturbance.



Since I'm being honest, than I could be honest with myself and:


recognize that sometimes its in my head. But when that feeling is in my gut, I can't turn a blind eye to what will end in my broken (borrowed) heart.