Saturday, February 18, 2012

They Always Come Back

I woke up with a ringing in my ear and fifteen minutes later it won't go away. I will not say I am not afraid, but maybe God is using that as a reminder for me, for what I'm not sure but I'm sure it will reveal itself OR the ringing will simply go away.

But, that's not really why I'm writing.

I was awakened by a text message, five to be exact. And they were from a guy, apologizing for his behavior. No, he didn't do some awful thing to me, nor did he commit the proverbial heartbreak. But what he did was wrong and I accept his apology, he just doesn't know that. I haven't decided if I'll tell him, but I do. I tend to accept most apologies (when I know they're genuine, most times they are because apologies only matter to me from people I care about and we must care about each other if you are apologizing). 

I read the texts a few times and each time going through my head is: "they always come back". I've said this to my friends multiple times for the past few months and I don't know if they understand the truth in that statement and how strongly I believe that. Let me correct that, I've learned that. Let me correct myself again, I taught myself that. "Them" coming back is predicated on how "they" leave, or how you let or force them to leave. 

I learned a huge lesson in love and life during my 23rd year of life. I do not plan to ever replicate those painful feelings I experienced, but I continue to use those lessons. And I wish I could teach my friends, sisters, and cousins those lessons. I was so gentle with myself during that time as I healed myself. It was such a spiritual place for me. I had to forgive myself. I had to be honest, with myself. I invested myself in another human being so deeply, that I had to dig deep within myself to get her back. She came back...and they always come back. 


0 comments:

Post a Comment