Baa Hum Bug!

I'm 23, and I don't know what that means to you, but to me that's old and I'm tired. Blame it on my "old soul" or whatever, but I'm tired of every holiday and special event packing up me and my troupe going to visit other people at their homes, basking in their happiness, and their families. I'm tired and I'm ready for people to pack up their crew and visit me and mines.

Now, I have no children (my dog doesn't count because he's not always in tow), so my troupe is not my children, husband, or boyfriend for that matter; it's my "baggage". You know, I carry a bag of expectation, and no-nonsense everywhere I go. These bags are not always heavy, but sometimes they are so loaded that they weigh me down. Now don't confuse this with being unpleasant, I am not. I just don't feel like dealing with the bullshit, in this case particularly with romantic relationships.


I am very unapologetic about the expectations I have of others and at times these expectations may come at a cost to myself, but I am convinced that in the long run it will pan out. I have seen what little expectations (and lack of fulfillment of those) have done to people in the long run and THAT does not make me happy.

So, here I sit in my house alone on Christmas, not because I have nowhere to go but because I don't feel like it! I want to sit in my house and have others come to me. Unfortunately there is no reason for them to and that is the problem...