I Want to Stop Feeling Alone...

I keep having the momentary bouts of bad attitudes. Some are reactive, but I can admit that some are truly unwarranted. And I know what I want (need). But I hate to admit it because it makes me feel weak. The reality of it though, and I need to accept it, is that it is not WEAK to yearn for the companionship of another human being. That's what we are here for, that is the nature of this beast. We are social creatures that flourish best in social situations, etc. Yet, knowing this I still feel like I'm not supposed to want (need) someone. I never felt like that and again, I blame him. I was ok knowing that I needed him, then that led to a shattering and from that I've become "good".


But I still yearn for companionship (I still don't think I need a boyfriend). I just want someone to talk to. Someone to laugh with. Someone to confide in. Someone to listen to me. Someone to listen to. Someone to believe in me. Someone to believe in. Someone that I don't have to share. I want to call you at 7 a.m. and ask you to go walking with me and you say yes, not ignore the phone call. Actually I just want to be able to ask you a question and anticipate yes, rather than no. I want to be able to hang with you, alone, with your friends, with my friends and be equally comfortable in all those situations. I want to get to know you. I want to know you before we have sex. I want the sex to be good. I want you to indulge me. I want you to support me. I want to cook for you. I want to dance for you. I want to sing for you. I want to help you. I want to read to you. I want to need you. I want you to need me, in the most manly way possible. I want to trust you, I want to be honest with you.

I want to be in a crush so deeply that when I come up for air I'm still breathing you, so I might as well dive back in.

I want to stop feeling alone.